A new study found that men are “somewhat oblivious” to the emotional subtleties of non-verbal cues. In essence, men have a hard time determining whether a woman is merely being friendly or if she is after something more.
The study, conducted by Indiana University’s Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences, showed photographs to 280 college students, with an average age of 20. Students viewed the photos on a computer and had to categorize them as Friendly, Sexually Interested, Sad or Rejecting.
Women were able to correctly categorize more images, while the men tended to categorize friendly images as sexually interested. However, the men also tended to categorize the sexually interested images as friendly.
First, I’m not certain this study does what it says it does. I’m sure it will be peer reviewed in the future, but I would think the images could be manipulated to get the result you want from the study. The main issue is who selected the images, and how clear were the photos in depicting the emotions. Flat photos do not translate the full meaning like an interaction with someone does.
On the other hand, men and women do have radically different methods of communicating. We women tend to be more concerned with how others view us – whether male or female. When dealing with men, most women will attempt to soft sell bad news (I don’t like you) and think that men should pick up on the hints she drops that she likes him (we talked for 2 hours). Men, on the other hand, tend to be more direct and reserved.
Sure, there are players on both sides of the field who are just in it for self-gratification or the most conquests, but the majority are honestly trying to figure things out.
Add to the mix popular culture which sends out mixed messages daily about how to do this or how to do that. The popularity of books like “The Rules” and “He’s Really Not Into You” highlight and cause some of the confusion.
Other than widening the divide, I’m not sure this study really tells us anything, other than what we already know: Each of us could do a better job communicating with each other.
So, when you are out on that date this weekend, just remember she/he may clueless about what you are trying to communicate!
