A recent study found that 1 in 4 teenage girls had a sexually transmitted disease. Only one-half of those surveyed would admit to having sex; but of those admitting to having sex, 40% had an STD. The numbers were shocking and put many people at unease.
The obvious danger is that these STDs can lead to infertility, cancer or death. The unseen consequences are emotional issues from broken relationships, unintended pregnancies and avoidable abortions.
So what has brought this drastic situation to our youth? Educators blame abstinence education, which plays some role. But youth always believes “it can’t happen to me” regardless of the situation.
Those who merely blame abstinence education fail to look at the larger cultural issues: TV, movies, magazines, celebrity, the sexual revolution, and mainstreaming the porn industry.
Our society is in a cycle of sexual glorification. Paris Hilton’s claim to fame is a movie of her having sex with her then boyfriend, but she is held aloft as a role model for young women to strive to emulate. Victoria Secret’s “fashion show” of lingerie serves no purpose but to put scantily clad women on prime time TV for ratings. Porn queens are publicized like regular actresses.
The failure of the sexual revolution is obvious from the state of relationships. The sexual revolution supposedly freed women from being taken advantage of sexually, but instead, it made sex slaves out of women. A friend of mine remarked, “the sexual revolution was a man’s idea to get sex without strings, but women think it is their idea.” He’s right on many levels. Who bears the brunt of an unintended pregnancy? Who is financially harmed if people live together without marriage? Who has a higher rate of STDs?
Sexual Glorification has other consequences. When is the last time you saw a portryal of a virgin that didn’t poke fun of the lack of sexual experience? Women are now in a situation where if they do not put out sexually, the woman next door will. And the men will go where the sex is. There is very little equity in virginity anymore.
Have a problem with self-image? It can be tracked to the thought that only beautiful people are desirable sexually. The prettier you are, the more sexual conquests you can acquire.
The media casts sexual promiscuity as the ideal, the thing that will solve all problems in a relationship. We sexualize pre-teens through clothing and activities. And then wonder why thirteen year-olds are having babies.
What can we do as a society? First, look in the mirror. This isn’t about one thing or another, it is the culmination of many things. We’ve stepped back from our traditional church morals.
We need to embrace sexual conservatism. We need to recognize that abstinence is a part of sex education as much as teaching contraceptives is. Sooner or later children will be adult who need to know the sex myths from reality and how to prevent unintended pregnancies.
We must stop legitimizing the porn industry and the pseudo-porn industry. Prime time needs to have fewer sexual innuendos. Stop marketing sex to pre-teens.
It is a lot to undertake, and will require a concerted effort by the government, media, public relation firms, hollywood, and the family. But if we don’t, the consequences will be that having a baby at 13 and being infertile by 26 will be the norm, not the exception.
Thank you for writing this post! I heard this stat this morning (the 1 in 4 teenaged girls has an STD stat) and wow – you really summed up my reaction. Only much more eloquently than I could have.
I can especially appreciate what you said here,
“The failure of the sexual revolution is obvious from the state of relationships. The sexual revolution supposedly freed women from being taken advantage of sexually, but instead, it made sex slaves out of women.”
As a single woman, I am consistently shocked these days by how men “expect” casual sex as a part of “dating” and as a part of the getting-to-know-you phase! It really bums me out. The sexual revolution has been touted as being about women’s “freedom” – but the pressure I feel out there to “put out’ is oppressive! Men these days will accuse a woman who says “no” to casual sex of being “manipulative”, “hung up” and a “prude”. I mean, manipulative? Because she wants to protect her health and her body?
Okay, sorry for the rant. It’s very disheartening out there…
Thanks Clarabelle.
I agree that dating has become more about mating than about getting to know someone.
Regardless of your reason for not wanting sex right away, it is not respected by men (or other women who you try to commiserate with) as a valid reason to wait.
I think this attitude ignores the emotional toll – I can’t tell you how many friends have been thrown into a tailspin because a guy they started to date thought sex should happen on the first date. Whether they said yes or no, the relationship was nearly always short lived. And this revolution was supposed to free us from these problems. Ha!
Two thoughts on this – the first is that for younger teenage girls the pressure isn’t only coming from the boys. The girls are pressuring each other. As one 14 year old told my 14 year old daughter earlier this school year – “If you don’t let him do stuff with you then he won’t know that you really love him” That was just her opener – the pressure from so many of the girls was overwhelming! I’m forever thankful that this boy had such a strong commitment to purity because I am not at all certain that my daughter would have been able to stand for long under that pressure.
Second – Your post reminded me of the billboard I drive by several times a day here in our VERY small town. I believe it is an ad for planned parenthood but the message is for free long term birth control but it is written in a text message format with a young girl holding up a cell phone. It infuriates me that this is so blatantly targeted at our children!! The attitude seems to be just put them on birth control and you don’t have to worry about how many people they have sex with – as long as there is no pregnancy then all is well. SHEESH!
So I appreciate this post because I believe I need to do something about this billboard. I’m sure that I’m not the only one who has noticed this but maybe people just don’t take the time to let the full scope of it register with them.
But then people up here have a much more liberal attitude about these things than I’m used to…
Deanna –
You have a very good point. It is other girls pressuring other girls into sex as well.
The billboard sounds like it is advocating underage sex. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Popular culture wants to believe the myth that sex can be without any consequences, and the reality is that there are consequences on so many levels – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Good luck with your daughter – it is such a stressful time she is going through – and a stressful time for parents too!